Meltdowns....

Hmmm... how to describe what one actually is like. It's not like a tantrum-it's not like I'm thinking "I'm not getting my way so here it goes" or anything like that.

It's actually one of the most miserable feelings I have during one. It's a hopelessness, helplessness feeling, but it's so intense with emotion! That is what does it... a lot of the time, I'm very out of tune with emotions for the most part, and like to think that I'm pretty logical for the most part-I'm sure I have my moments, and I do things that I know aren't exactly "logical", but as far as perspective on things going on around me, I like to think of myself as logical.

When that rush of emotion takes over, there is no more logic. There is no more thinking clearly. Nothing makes sense anymore, and it intensifies because my instinct is to try to make things make sense again.

Imagine yourself in the middle of a tornado, with your favorite things swirling round and round you. You reach out, trying to grab them, but only get bits and pieces of them.

To me, the things swirling around are thoughts that will get my mind "grounded" again. But since I can only comprehend bits and pieces, then that is just that much more frustrating to try to make sense of things. The tornado, I suppose, would represent sounds, lights, people talking to me, other noises factoring in that make comprehension and logical thinking absolutely impossible.

Once it starts, it's a matter of just riding it out until it is done, and anything that happens during it, simply intensifies it all.

It's knowing where you are one minute, and what you are doing, to knowing absolutely nothing the next, except that you WERE doing something...

I think during one, the worst thing someone can do is try to help me... which is unfortunate since that is what everyone, of course, wants to do, haha. I understand why they would-I want to do it if I see my son having one, or someone else as well, because I know it is absolutely miserable and just extremely exhausting.