I'm now obsessed with Bento boxes... quite literally. Who ever said you aren't supposed to play with your food?

Books that may help some parents

I've found quite a few books on Amazon that may be very helpful to parents of children that have autism, or behavioral issues in general... as well as to the kids themselves. So I'm going to link them here for easy access!

Dictionary of Idioms

Dictionary of Idioms (revised)

Scholastic Dictionary of Synonyms, Antonyms, and Homonyms

Just Kidding

Simon's Hook; A Story About Teases and Put-downs

My Mouth Is a Volcano!

The Gifted Kids' Survival Guide: For Ages 10 & Under

The Gifted Kids Survival Guide: A Teen Handbook

What to Do When Good Enough Isn't Good Enough: The Real Deal on Perfectionism: A Guide for Kids

Nobody's Perfect: A Story for Children About Perfectionism

What to Do When Bad Habits Take Hold: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Nail Biting and More (What to Do Guides for Kids)

What to Do When You Grumble Too Much: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Negativity (What to Do Guides for Kids)

What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Anxiety (What to Do Guides for Kids)

What to Do When Your Brain Gets Stuck: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming OCD (What-to-Do Guides for Kids)

What to Do When Your Temper Flares: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Problems With Anger (What to Do Guides for Kids)

What to Do When You're Scared and Worried: A Guide for Kids

How to Do Homework Without Throwing Up

Dude, That's Rude!: (Get Some Manners) (Laugh And Learn)

No Excuses!: How What You Say Can Get In Your Way

When My Worries Get Too Big! A Relaxation Book for Children Who Live with Anxiety

Bully-Be-Gone with Annie

The Red Beast: Controlling Anger in Children With Asperger's Syndrome

When My Autism Gets Too Big! A Relaxation Book for Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders

Personal Hygiene? What's That Got To Do

Hygiene and Related Behaviors for Children and Adolescents with Autism Spectrum and Related Disorders: A Fun Curriculum with a Focus on Social Understanding

How to Be Yourself in a World That's Different: An Asperger's Syndrome Study Guide for Adolescents

Knowing Yourself, Knowing Others: A Workbook for Children With Asperger's Disorder, Nonverbal Learning Disorder, and Other Social-Skill Problems

Brendan Buckley's Universe and Everything in It

A Crooked Kind of Perfect

The Kindergarten Adventures Of Amazing Grace: What In The World Is Autism?

In My Mind: The World through the Eyes of Autism

Autistic Planet

Calming the Stormy Days with Annie

A Bad Case of Tattle Tongue

The Way I Feel

The Autism Acceptance Book: Being a Friend to Someone With Autism

The Hidden Curriculum: Practical Solutions for Understanding Unstated Rules in Social Situations

Teaching Conversation to Children With Autism: Scripts And Script Fading (Topics in Autism)

Parenting a Child With Asperger Syndrome: 200 Tips and Strategies

Your Life is Not a Label: A Guide to Living Fully with Autism and Asperger's Syndrome

Asperger Syndrome in Adolescence: Living With the Ups, the Downs and Things in Between

The Mom's Guide to Asperger Syndrome and Related Disorders

An Asperger Dictionary of Everyday Expressions (Stuart-Hamilton, An Asperger Dictionary of Everyday Expressions)

Things that make you go "Hmmm"

I was cleaning my son's room today and realized a lot of small things that were actually quite funny...

I found a teaspoon, a medicine cup, and a juice box that hadn't been opened. I have no clue if it was my son that put them there, or if my daughter had done it, but I just started laughing, because it seems no matter what I ask him to do with them, and he fully acknowledges where things belong, he just WILL NOT do it.

I looked around the room... clothes on the floor that he had changed (hamper is RIGHT NEXT TO HIS DOOR), hangers all over the place... trash from toys he'd opened... a scrabble box with absolutely none of the pieces left in it.

I decided to go to my computer desk for a moment to check on my forums, then looked around and realized "wow, I'm the same exact way!"

Now, I notice this probably every few months or so, when I really get to paying attention to it, and it's quite funny, actually... like mother like... well, son in our case.

My daughter makes messes, too, but they are more sparatic. Like, she will walk around for half hour with her dirty clothes before dropping it somewhere. But my son and I, you can tell exactly where we were when we changed clothes, can tell where we ate something or drank something, where we took our medicine, etc.

Not a thing to be proud of-definitely something to work on, as things can get quite cluttered from it. But still humorous nonetheless.

I hate people...

Mainly because I just don't understand how they work a lot of the time. Sometimes I wish I knew, sometimes I'm thrilled that I don't understand it, because it would just make things more complicated, and would really throw off my ability to think logically most of the time... what I learn, I learn by watching people... their behaviors, mannerisms, responses to things, etc.

But I don't understand most of it. I'm lucky I even leave my house at times....

Anyway, I have some questions:

1) Why do people deny things that are obviously going on?

2) Why do people pass blame so often?

3) Why do people pretend to be "buddy buddy" with others, when they really don't seem to like the person?

4) Why do people ask mindless questions to others like "how are you?" when they could not possibly actually care, seeing as they don't know me?

5) Why do people surround themselves with tons of people, yet only talk to one or 2?

6) Why do people get offended if you don't talk to them every single day? I'm guessing most people don't realize that friendships require a LOT of maintenance.

7) Why don't people say exactly what they mean? I mean, most people can read the signals via body language and all, but even THEY have miscommunications, which makes me think that people should say what they mean in the first place to avoid that?

8) Why do people deny feeling emotions at times, even if it's abundantly clear (by lack of rationality in what they say) that they are feeling something?

9) What is the difference between "being polite" and "lying"? I mean, the classic here-someone asks if their pants make them look fat... and they do. So we are supposed to say "no, you look fine" to spare feelings even if we know everyone they pass is going to laugh at them or think that? Also, it doesn't make sense... polite would be doing good things, right? Well, in that situation, initially one is lying.... how is that polite?

Learning social skills from forums...

I was part of this forum for parents of children with autism. I left it, lol, because... well, everyone seemed just far too emotionally driven to listen to any reasoning or apply logic to what they were saying.

I posted saying basically that the argument about vaccines is just ridiculous. I also pointed out the fact that the "blame game" isn't so much as what is the cause for autism, but they are picking and choosing what parts of others' posts they want to listen to, then are twisting it, getting defensive, and attacking them, which just starts an all out war.

So... I thought it was ironic, that after I posted that (before I quit, as I wanted to see what the owner of the group thought ultimately before leaving altogether), that the owner came in, basically saying the arguing and all needs to stop... but THEN, felt this need to throw in the fact that people who view it her way (the ones with vaccine injured children, as she put it) don't have any reason to get attacked, and are not doing the attacking... they are, in fact, just as guilty as the others, if not maybe even a bit more, as the others state their view and it instantly gets picked apart, reworded, and reposted. They are getting offended, which, is understandable since they see it from the other side and all... but they are also butchering everyone else's posts just to be able to take out their anger on people and keep the argument going... every single time!

But the post that finally set me over the edge and made me say "I just can't take this site anymore", was from one of those people. She was posting nasty little comments in between her main points. The owner of the group was what made me hit the "leave" button and not even bother to respond.

So... I kind of figured out from that, why the idea of "social therapy" doesn't thrill me too much.

I'm kind of going by the idea that those kinds of things are normal in real life too (and don't deny it, because denial of fault is one of the things I KNOW I've seen people do on a daily basis, lol). This is what I learned from them, and have observed very similar going on in real life:

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1) Deny. Deny. Deny.

Apparently, admitting fault is a fate worse than death. Any time you can, look for someone else to blame for your bad mood, or your problems. NEVER admit that you *could* be doing anything less than perfect, even if you are doing the same thing someone is criticizing you for AS YOU DENY IT.
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2) If someone disagrees with you, there is no reason to try to come to an agreement, or to back down... even if it's an issue that you will NEVER agree on, or an issue that has absolutely no research that can cover every instance of something to back anyone up.

These people are arguing this to freakin death! They just WILL NOT LET IT GO. At least after a while of not agreeing with someone, I can look objectively at the situation and say, "Oh, well this isn't going anywhere. We should just stop talking about it." Rather than, "Oh, well this isn't going anywhere... but I want to make it a point that it's everyone else's fault." (Because we all know THAT is going to resolve a whole lot *sarcasm*)
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3) If a debate comes up, and there is no proof of everything you are saying, or what the other person is saying, it doesn't matter. Your own experience is law, and that is how it was for every person you encounter as well-they are just in denial, or are stupid.

That, I think, is what bugged me the most about all of it. They were all screaming over personal experiences. Hey, newsflash guys-JUST BECAUSE SOME GUY WROTE A PAPER ON A LINK BETWEEN AUTISM AND VACCINES A LOOOOONG TIME AGO, DOESN'T MAKE IT PROOF!!! Especially when that isn't how it happened for everyone. Take a chill pill.
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4) Always respond to things when you are emotionally unstable (i.e. extremely UPSET about what is being talked about).

A lot of them want to say "use common sense" to everyone else who doesn't agree with them. But in all honesty, they all wound up looking rather loony to me.

There was no thought given to what others were saying. Just this need to yell and bash one another due to an initial emotionally driven response... I'm pretty sure none of them read their own posts and realized how ridiculous they sounded either.
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5) NEVER EVER assume someone means exactly what they are saying.

Nobody could possibly mean what they are saying, apparently. ALWAYS twist up what they say and contort it so it suits your own personal needs. Nevermind paying attention to an entire sentence said, or paragraph. Just pick out the parts you don't like and focus on that-if you focus on the small stuff rather than the big, it's much easier to attack someone and fool yourself into thinking that they meant to be rude.
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6) If someone disagrees, don't back down... you are in control no matter what. If you actually have power, use it as a threat whenever someone disagrees.

The owner actually told some people she was going to kick them out of the group because they didn't agree with her basically. Of course, she took #5 and used that to her advantage to build her case, to make it sound like the person said a lot of offensive stuff.
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No wonder so many of us would prefer to revert into our own worlds most of the time... people are completely random. There is not much logic used in these situations at all... and quite frankly, it's so incredibly annoying that if this is what being "normal" means, thank GOD I'm not.

I may be quirky, but at least I can back off of a situation, or realize when there's no point anymore in arguing/debating. I can also look at a reaction I had within a few hours, and apologize for it easily, because I realize it was irrational and pointless.

People today have frustrated me, obviously, lol. But what bugs me most, is those incidents are NOT only isolated to internet interactions.

I see people doing crap like this ALL THE TIME.

Fall asleep during a movie and someone notices? "No. No. I wasn't sleeping-really!" (big fight breaks out)

Someone bumps into someone else by accident in the store. Half of them don't say sorry, and the half that do, get yelled at for it!

Every time someone gets defensive, it's like their comprehension of what is going on is just... not working right. They can no longer hear correctly, they have to reword everything and use it as an attack...

I want to make it clear... I'm up for social therapy for some things. But I want ABSOLUTELY NO PART in being "normal". I just want to be able to get by, and if omitting these things means it isn't possible, then I'd rather just stay at home all day and not bother trying. It's absolutely ridiculous.

Stims causing problems...

I'm beginning to think that my stims are contributing to my tendonitis and carpal tunnel issues... I need to get some wrist braces that are comfortable to some extent, rather than what I have now, as I cannot wear them for more than 10 minutes at a time without ripping them off.

I type a lot, and while I know that isn't good for it... it's almost compulsive, an interest, or something like that. I type ALL THE TIME. I can't help it at all. I can walk away to do other things in the house, then come right back to the computer... even typing just the same word over and over at times. I really like the clicky sound from the keys, in all honesty.

But I also hand flap when excited, and "type" in the air when thinking (if I'm talking to someone, it helps me remember my line of thought), and twist my hands around a lot.

All of my hobbies involve using my hands too... beading, drawing, writing, playing video games... ugh, haha.

Tendonitis is hitting hard this time around... it's VERY painful, and yet, here I am, still typing away. My arms are very swollen, and I realized that my stims may contribute, because last night I was flapping and clapping like crazy because I was just so happy about things.

*shrug* Just some random thoughts, something I thought might be rather interesting, or maybe this is just a mental note to myself to analyze it more later on and maybe keep data of some sort to see how often it happens? When I figure out the purpose of this, I'll let you know, haha.

Life is good...

Why? Well, because a lot of little things that happen to me on a daily basis make me extremely happy-things that most people would take for granted.

I was able to help a neighbor out tonight by getting her something while I was at the store. I'm still wide awake and grinning ear to ear, here at midnight. I skipped while taking my kids into church, clapped all the way up to their classrooms, giggled a LOT, and was just... overall VERY happy, and I still am, almost 6 hours later!

Little things like that happen a lot around our house, and during these times, we would appear to be the happiest people alive, lol. Maybe the weirdest, too, based on social standards, haha, but I don't care. We are HAPPY! Like, not just normal happy... but jump up and down, hand flappy, clapping and squealing happy!

It's an amazing feeling... and it makes me happy (yes, on top of already being happy) that I can get so much joy out of something so incredibly small. I don't need a lot to make me happy... something from a gumball machine will do it, and I'm 29! haha.

Life... is good. (some days, lol)

Thoughts on the vaccinations debate...

We are all on this Earth, and all have to figure out a way to get along. It's fine and dandy to want a reason for things, but one cannot force a reason that is going to cover every situation possible and be able to say it's the big solution. Not validly at least.

People need to try to remove the emotional factor from these debates, and debate based on logic... if there absolutely HAS to be a debate. Because "well it happened to my child" and "it didn't happen to mine"... do you see that actually going anywhere in conversation or figuring anything out? No, it's a never ending back and forth debate... we need to accept what we have been given, regardless of what we think the cause might be.

Until it is one day, official, that this IS what causes it, nobody has a choice but to learn to live with it, and make the adjustments needed to be able to enjoy life.

Meltdowns....

Hmmm... how to describe what one actually is like. It's not like a tantrum-it's not like I'm thinking "I'm not getting my way so here it goes" or anything like that.

It's actually one of the most miserable feelings I have during one. It's a hopelessness, helplessness feeling, but it's so intense with emotion! That is what does it... a lot of the time, I'm very out of tune with emotions for the most part, and like to think that I'm pretty logical for the most part-I'm sure I have my moments, and I do things that I know aren't exactly "logical", but as far as perspective on things going on around me, I like to think of myself as logical.

When that rush of emotion takes over, there is no more logic. There is no more thinking clearly. Nothing makes sense anymore, and it intensifies because my instinct is to try to make things make sense again.

Imagine yourself in the middle of a tornado, with your favorite things swirling round and round you. You reach out, trying to grab them, but only get bits and pieces of them.

To me, the things swirling around are thoughts that will get my mind "grounded" again. But since I can only comprehend bits and pieces, then that is just that much more frustrating to try to make sense of things. The tornado, I suppose, would represent sounds, lights, people talking to me, other noises factoring in that make comprehension and logical thinking absolutely impossible.

Once it starts, it's a matter of just riding it out until it is done, and anything that happens during it, simply intensifies it all.

It's knowing where you are one minute, and what you are doing, to knowing absolutely nothing the next, except that you WERE doing something...

I think during one, the worst thing someone can do is try to help me... which is unfortunate since that is what everyone, of course, wants to do, haha. I understand why they would-I want to do it if I see my son having one, or someone else as well, because I know it is absolutely miserable and just extremely exhausting.

Thoughts on the term "social disorder"...

Okay, I figured out what I would like to talk about in my first post. This came to me while I was cleaning up my son's room... I really have no clue why, lol.

But I got to thinking about it... and why is autism considered to be so much of a social disorder instead of behavioral?

I ask, because while I was thinking, I realized that if I were to ask questions about why people do this or that, there would be a million different answers... it would be impossible to have one real reason. So if people have so many different reasons, why is it considered so atypical for someone to just not bother because there is no set reason to do it? How can any unwritten social rule, really be considered the "norm" for everyone, and standard enough to test us against for diagnosis, when people are so incredibly different as to why they do things or what they get out of it? I just don't understand it...

To add more confusion... why is it so odd that because of our QUIRKS-as in, physical mannerisms, we are outcasted so often that there really is absolutely no point in trying to get by socially, when so many judgments are based on appearance anyway. I could be the friendliest person ever to someone (and HAVE), and they would just turn around and say nothing to me, or be rude, because I'm rocking back and forth, or swaying (and HAVE had this happen).

So... social therapy, sure, it's a good idea and all, but there are so many things that we do physically that can be seen, that are so incredibly beyond our control, that it really doesn't matter. I would think, that because these things are beyond our control, that behavioral disorder would almost be more fitting, to be honest. As, with a theory, that if we didn't have these behavioral quirks that put people off from us, we might do just fine socially and find reasons to actually try to get along well socially. That, and anything considered a social disorder to me, is just a paradox to figure out when trying to analyze how that is even possible.

What do you guys think?

The start... no clue what to do, haha.

I am an adult with high functioning autism, and recently started posting in a site for parents of children with autism. Many of them have mentioned here and there me starting a blog of sorts... I'm really not sure what to put in my first post, lol, but I'm sure I'll be getting a lot of ideas/questions, etc. after this, haha.

Basically I will just answer questions here so I'm not taking over that forum or anything, haha. So if anyone has questions, feel free to ask.

I'm also going to try to get that project underway here, as well. So will let people know when that gets going. :)

Fair warning, a lot of what I post is just deep thinking, trying to figure things out... also, I might post many times within one day, as the brain never really stops. So just be prepared :)